The 30 Worst Album Covers

Album covers can be iconic pieces of art. Visual snapshots that capture the zeitgeist of a moment or a movement: The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, Bauhaus -- The Sky's Gone Out, The Beatles -- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Jimi Hendrix -- Electric Ladyland: All amazing.

They can also be weird sketches of a man snogging a dog (whose tongue is that?), a la the latest release from Ariel Pink.

But that's enough inter-species erotica for one day... What I'm more interested in is other bad album covers. More precisely, the worst ever album covers. So I've found them -- which didn't take too long. Whittling them down from hundreds to the best 30, that took time.

So keep reading for gems including Bajo, The Faith Tones and Boys Town Gang.

The Rolling Stones -- Dirty Work

Not many people mention The Stones awkward 80s period.

ManOwar -- Anthology

"Dad was in a band, when he was younger... No they never released an album, ever."

Ira North -- If I Were A Woman

You'd be lonely.

Bajo -- Ja Sam Ranjen Kao Ptica

Ja Sam Ranjen Kao Ptica, which roughly translates as "I like coarsely ground wheat," was the biggest selling album in Albania in 2006 (yes I said 2006). Bajo is also technically Albania's second biggest export after methylated spirit.

Deathkorpz -- Metal Tit

On wheels!

Neil Young -- Everybody's Rockin'

Old man take a look at my life... I've made mistakes.

Richie Family -- Bad Reputation

And frankly, I can see why.

Rod Stewart -- An Old Raincoat Won't Ever Let You Down

For what exactly Rod? Snatching children? Because that's what it looks like.

The Faith Tones -- Jesus Use Me

Are you using Jesus as an expletive? No? So like really? Like... that? Oh right, as a warning.

Swamp Dogg -- Rat On

Ah the album is called Rat On and on the covers he's on a rat. Clever.

Whitesnake -- Love Hunter

I'm not sure if this is the worst album cover ever, or the best.

David Hasselhoff -- Night Rocker

His guitar isn't plugged in? To be fair, that's the least of his problems.

Foster Edwards' Orchestra -- What's Next?

A horrific accident?

Crosby, Stills and Nash -- Live It Up

Hot dogs, on the moon, on sticks, with workmen -- seems obvious when you think about it.

Boys Town Gang -- Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Won't be taking our eyes off you either lads, especially around our gran.

Wolf -- Wolf

This is just awful. Wolful.

Leif Garrett -- Feel The Need

I won't be feeling anything Leif, not while there's an ounce of strength left in my body.

Ken -- By Request Only

You'll be waiting a while then, Ken.

Eulenspygel -- 2

You think this is sick, you should have seen the cover of Eulenspygel 1.

Orion -- Reborn

Is it just me or does Orion look like a divorced superhero?

Battle Axe -- Burn It Down

Pretty sure our mate Billy Davies drew this in his Resistant Materials exercise book.

Christian Crusaders -- With Al Davies

Nice..

Europe -- The Final Countdown.

Did the eighties not have eyes? Could they not see what they were doing?

Twisted Sister -- Stay Hungry.

The worst part of the cover is the dude's hair.

Kate Bush -- Kate Bush.

Kate! What are you doing? I thought you were cool!

Big Bear -- Doin Thangs

Hopefully learning how to spell. Zing.

Millie Jackson -- Back to the s_ _t

Millie has kindly illustrated the metaphor of her album's title by having herself photographed on a toilet, which is nice of her. (Why has she got her shoe in her hand?)

Wham! -- Bad Boys

Ahem. You do it, this one's too easy.

John and Yoko -- Unfinished Music

Proof that she ruined everything.

The Beatles -- Yesterday and Today

The good old days, when album covers were sedate and sensible.

Sir D ( Evidence there was a Then Now ) of O

Another Knights Road Trip?

But first...

Sir Norman wished me a "Happy Easter Season" today by sending me this image:

Which got me curious about Easter and Beer. Are there Easter beers out there? Surely (and stop calling me Shirley), there must be a beer that helps us celebrate the Lenten season the way "the monks of yore" did.

There is the Carlsberg Group: If you want to try a different approach to Easter, then you should plan a visit at Carlsberg to taste the Easter and Spring beers and learn a bit about them as well.

And then there is Gouden Carolus' Easter Beer (3.97, 10% ABV) -- reviews as a dark beer, ruby-red colour, and somewhat spicy.

Which leads me to our next road trip. But first...

Speaking of beer and Easter. Here are the rules for your very own Easter Beer Hunt (from beeronthewall.com):

There comes a time in each of our lives when we outgrow some of the very fun things that we truly loved to do as kids: Waiting up for Santa on Christmas Eve, sorting our candy after a very productive evening of trick-or-treating, and of course, the all-important Easter Egg Hunt on Easter morning! Unfortunately, we can’t help you with Santa or the trick-or-treat thing, but we do have a fabulous idea to bring back the joy of the Easter Egg Hunt for that kid in each of us.

What we had in mind doesn't have much to do with Easter eggs, but more to do with Easter beer. There are actually many groups scattered around the globe that have perfected The Easter Beer Hunt tradition and are sure to continue it for years to come.I t works something like this:

First, the people involved must have a genuine appreciation for beer. Secondly, they must have a genuine appreciation for having fun. If you have both pieces of this puzzle, then you have what it takes to put together a really great Easter Beer Hunt!

1. Get a bunch of different brands and styles of beer. The better the mix, the more fun it will be for the “beer hunters.” We recommend about 8 to 12 beers per hunter. Some will get more and others less, but it guarantees at least a nice, mixed 6-pack for even the slowest of gatherers. If you know what some of the hunter’s favorite beers are, throw a few of them in as well - there is sure to be some trading going on when all is said and done.

2. Decorate the beers. Use your imagination and be as creative as you can here. Paint, ribbons,Easter stickers, construction paper, gift bags… you get the idea. Just make ‘em really cool and fun to find!

3. Gather the hunters. This can be from one to as many people as you want.

4. Hide the Easter beers. Again, creativity is very important here. Don’t make it too easy, but make sure no beers remain un-found - that would be a dirty shame.

5. Now there are two standard ways of conducting the hunt, however, feel free to make your own rules. If you have a bunch of guys who just want to party, then they must drink each beer they find before they can hunt for the next one. Be sure its not too hot out because it’s no fun drinking warm beer. If you want a somewhat mellower experience (no drunks), conduct the hunt in the traditional manner... Find a beer, put it in your basket. Use 6-pack carriers for the hunters to gather their beers in.

6. The most important rule of all - Have Fun!
For videos, just search "Easter Beer Hunt" and dozens will show up!

Now, the road trip. But first...

A little history. The Easter beer mentioned a long time ago at the top of this post is Gouden Carolus of Brewery Het Anker -- one of the oldest breweries in Belgium. The brewery first appears in the records of the city of Mechelen in 1369.

In spite of that small-scaliness , a large part of the beer has been nevertheless intended for the foreign country market (Japan, Mexico, United States, Denmark, Italy, France, the Netherlands, Great Britain, Scandinavia, Canada, Australia, Poland, Vietnam and others).

Now, what about that Knights Road trip?

In August 1999 Hotel Carolus is opened in the old stockrooms of Brewery Het Anker. This hotel is unique in Belgium, it is the only hotel that is on the site of a still functioning brewery.
I say ROAD TRIP!

Sir Bowie "Have a Hoppy Easter" of Greenbriar

The Best Defense is Offense...Unless You're Driving

You'd think that after driving for 37 years I might be able to get it right. However, during that time frame I received about 50 speeding tickets (actually, I've lost count), totaled three cars and one motorcycle, been in the hospital twice...once in a comma and the latest breaking my back, all my ribs, my left collar bone and shoulder.

Today, I am finishing my online "Defensive Driving" course for the 8th time in Indiana. In fact, as you can see above, they have finally changed the name from "Defensive Driving" to "Driver Improvement".

Perhaps that change in title will finally stick? Well...I doubt it!

You see, I believe that the best defense is offense...and that carries over into my driving habits. Hell, I even made Sir D want to have "freakin' kittens" while driving in England last summer.

OK, I admit my limitations, and in this regard, it is that I refuse to let a few "rules of the road" get in my way. Stupid?...perhaps, Bull-headed?...hell yes!

Face it, I should have been a Formula One or Indy driver, Fighter Pilot or Tank Driver for Patton.

I have learned this time; however, that if your engine begins to overheat, you should turn on your heater to full to draw the heat away from the engine.

Now, back to class.

Sir Hook (Who Was Known in Fairfield in His Teen Years as Hot Wheels Wells) the Professor Extraordinaire of Driving Improvement of Warrick

The Shirt of... part II (a.k.a.) Shameless Plug

Yesterday, Sir Dayvd introduced us to The Shirt of Hurt!

Today, I wanted to introduce you to The Shirt of Wort (beer that is).

If you haven't checked out the KMSA Shoppe, scroll down the left side of this site and click on KMSA Shoppe.There you'll find a "if we don't have it, you don't need it" list of KMSA items, including:

Shirts (short)

Shirts (long)

Outerwear

Kids Clothing

Hats & Caps

Bags

Fun Stuff

Pets

Home & Office

Mugs

Buttons & Magnets

Cards, Prints & Calendars

Stickers

You can even pick up Intimate Apparel such as

Sir Bowie "they're not as uncomfortable as I thought" of Greenbriar

The Shirt of Hurt

Anyone got a flaming match??

With Obama signing a new Nuclear treaty with Russia, so soon after pushing through the Health Reform and the GOP promptly throwing their toys out of their prams, it seems an ideal time to show the KMSA something that has been the talk of this island's menfolk this past two weeks. The Shirt of Hurt.

The Shirt of Hurt is the brainchild of Broadcaster Danny Baker on 5Live Radio (which is mainly a BBC Sports and topical debate channel), and was brought to prominence to raise funds for the Sport Relief Campaign to raise funds to help transform the lives of poor and vulnerable people, both at home and across the world’s poorest countries.

Soccer tribalism in this country is unbelievably fierce, and the premise of the Shirt of Hurt, was to be sponsored to wear the team Shirt of your bitterest rival and be photographed in it, and the longer you wore it the more money you earned.

This has sparked a wonderful good natured debate between strangers in Bars and pubs up and down the island. On the surface, to most grown up adult minded people it is no problem....or is it?

Sports shirts to a great many men define who they are and the way they think. From Heraldic times through the ages Men have shown their "True Colors"

The joy has been, watching on TV...known sporting celebrities, who have spent a lifetime playing and supporting a certain team from Childhood...(probably introduced to them by their fathers) wriggling in the glare of the lights as they are put on the spot when someone brings a rivals shirt on for them to wear.

Some Sporting celebs have paid large sums of Money so they Don't have to wear the Shirt of Hurt.

Me?, Well I figured I was more than mature and above all this nonsense and would happily wear any of my rivals Soccer shirts. I am a Chelsea supporter, and my most uncomfortable closest rivals are Arsenal. So if someone brought me an Arsenal shirt, (pictured at the top) or even a Manchester Utd , or Liverpool Shirt, would I wear them and a smile and without pulling a face as if I was sucking a lemon? The truth is...I could wear them, but not without pulling a big face.....don't ask me why...maybe its a guy thing.

So all you knights out there...whose Shirt, would five guys have to hold you down struggling as they put it on you? Which Team would you hate to don their colors and stand cheering in their fans end for five minutes?

In times of Charity, and Patriotism, and helping each other for the common good of man...most people here have good naturedly put their shoulders to the wheel, and this is why we have all been vastly amused at John "across the aisles" McCain's refusal to support any other legislation this year in the Senate. John better start wearing the Shirt of Hurt for Uncle Sam.

Sir D (who will be supporting Italy and Brazil in the World Cup because they play beautiful soccer) of O

Sweet!

Oh sure, it's no Wimbledon, Football World Cup, or Head of the River Race, or The Ashes,or even an eye-gouging Rugby match, but...

a little thing called the NCAA Basketball Tournament is pretty big here in the States.
And I'm sure more than a few Knights will crack open a cold beer or two and watch the Sweet 16 starting tonight.

Here's a fun fact: If your Final Four prediction was the most unlikely combination of Cornell, Butler, Saint Mary's and Northern Iowa YOU STILL HAVE A LEGITIMATE CHANCE!

JOEY JOHNSTON of The Tampa Tribune, put together these 16 fun Sweet 16 things to keep in mind as we enter another crazy weekend of college basketball:

1
What's a Farokhmanesh?
It's Northern Iowa senior guard Ali Farokhmanesh (Fah-ROAK-man-ESH), the no-conscience shooter who clinched the upset of Kansas with a stunning 3-pointer. He's our all-name team MVP and he brings to mind a few favorites from past Sweet 16 events:
•Fennis Dembo, Wyoming (1987).
•Exree Hipp, Maryland (1994-95).
•Baskerville Holmes, Memphis (1985).
•Kevin Pittsnogle, West Virginia (2005-06).
•God Shammgod, Providence (1997).

2
Sweet 16 all-name runner-up: Tweety Carter, the point guard from Baylor.
He arrived as a scorer - 7,457 career points as a Louisiana high-school phenom attested to that - but Carter has matured into a top-flight floor leader. Tweety's given name is Demond (pronounced DEE-mond), but acquired the nickname because of the crying sounds he made as an infant.

3
Cornell is 1-0 vs. Kentucky (82-77 victory against Adolph Rupp's Wildcats, an eventual 13-13 team, on Dec. 28, 1966, when the Wildcats had Pat Riley and Louis Dampier, one season after UK fell to Texas Western in the 1966 NCAA final). UK is 11-3 all-time against Ivy League teams.

4
Kentucky is headed to Syracuse's expansive Carrier Dome, great news for the legions of ticket-hungry UK fans. But do they remember this? Kentucky is 0-3 all-time at the Carrier Dome, including two regular-season losses against Syracuse.

5
This is the 11th time for West Virginia coach Bob Huggins to earn a top-four seed in the NCAA Tournament. On eight of those occasions, all with the Cincinnati Bearcats, Huggins' team failed to reach the Sweet 16.

6
We have the possibility of an All-Big Ten final in the Midwest Regional (Ohio State-Michigan State). In the past 100 NCAA regional finals, conference rivals have been matched just eight times:
2009: Villanova def. Pittsburgh (Big East).
2002: Oklahoma def. Missouri (Big 12).
2000: Wisconsin def. Purdue (Big Ten).
1992: Cincinnati def. Memphis (Great Midwest).
1992: Michigan def. Ohio State (Big Ten).
1990: Arkansas def. Texas (Southwest).
1988: Kansas def. Kansas State (Big Eight).
1987: Providence def. Georgetown (Big East).

7
Since capturing the 2001 national title, Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski has lost five of his past six appearances in the regional semifinals.

8
There are two former Hillsborough County players in the Sweet 16 - Butler junior guard Shawn Vanzant (Wharton) and Cornell freshman guard Johnathan Gray (Berkeley Prep), a former student manager who was added to the team in December.

9
Connections? Last season, Michigan State had its sights set on Detroit, site of the Final Four, and it reached the championship game. Spartans coach Tom Izzo just toppled Maryland at Indianapolis, where he won his only national title (in 2000 with Mateen Cleaves, Morris Peterson, et al) and toppled overall No. 1 seed Louisville in last season's Midwest Regional final. Now it's off to St. Louis, where the Spartans defeated Kentucky in 1999 to earn the first Final Four berth under Izzo.

10
Larry Harrison, the West Virginia assistant coach, once helped to launch Tampa's Riverfront Park Summer Basketball League. He also served as assistant at Jefferson High School and Hillsborough Community College. Now he's the longtime right-hand man for Mountaineers coach Bob Huggins.

11
The second-round loss by Kansas once again means the NCAA Tournament's overall No. 1 seed has failed to win the national championship. Since the overall No. 1 seed debuted in 2004, only the 2007 Florida Gators have gone all the way.

12
Ohio State vs. Tennessee in the Midwest Regional semifinals is a rematch from 2007, when the Buckeyes rallied from a 17-point halftime deficit to defeat the Volunteers 85-84 in a regional semifinal at San Antonio. The coaches remain the same (Ohio State's Thad Matta and Tennessee's Bruce Pearl). Star players David Lighty of Ohio State and Wayne Chism of Tennessee played in that game as freshmen.

13
Three double-digit seeds have reached the Sweet 16 (No. 10 Saint Mary's, No. 11 Washington and No. 12 Cornell), duplicating the feat of 2008, when No. 10 Davidson, No. 12 Western Kentucky and No. 12 Villanova pulled through. There were no double-digit seeded teams in last season's Sweet 16.

14
The state of Texas tied an NCAA record by sending seven teams to the NCAA Tournament (California did the same in 2002). Fittingly, the last team standing, the Baylor Bears, is headed to the South Regional Sweet 16 event at Houston's Reliant Stadium, site of next season's Final Four.

15
It's the 30-year anniversary of Purdue's last Final Four appearance - when Coach Lee Rose and Joe Barry Carroll led the Boilermakers into Indianapolis, some 61 miles from Purdue's campus. Note: The Final Four is back at Indy.

16
Purdue's overtime win against Texas A&M assured the Big Ten of having the most successful opening-weekend of the multiple-bid leagues

THE SCHEDULE (Eastern Times)
Thursday
East Region (Syracuse, N.Y.)
No. 2 West Virginia (29-6) vs. No. 11 Washington (26-9), 7:27
No. 1 Kentucky (34-2) vs. No. 12 Cornell (29-4), 9:57
West Region (Salt Lake City)
No. 1 Syracuse (30-4) vs. No. 5 Butler (30-4), 7:07
No. 2 Kansas State (28-7) vs. No. 6 Xavier (26-8), 9:37
Friday
South Region (Houston)
No. 3 Baylor (27-7) vs. No. 10 Saint Mary's (28-5), 7:27
No. 1 Duke (31-5) vs. No. 4 Purdue (29-5), 9:57
Midwest Region (St. Louis)
No. 2 Ohio State (29-7) vs. No. 6 Tennessee (27-8), 7:07
No. 5 Michigan St. (26-8) vs. No. 9 Northern Iowa (30-4), 9:37

And finally, for no other reason than I love old photos, I present the Marathon Brewery Company's Wee Willy Basketball Team from (Marathon City Brewing Co. 1881 - 1966 Marathon, Wisconsin).

The team won more than 500 games while losing 50 during the 1940's and 1950's.

So fellow Knights, enjoy your favorite beer and watch a game or two.

Sir Bowie "who can't even dunk a do-nut in a cup of coffee without breaking his neck" of Greenbriar

A BIG F'ing Deal!

I honestly don't know whether or not this Health Care Reform / ObamaCare Bill is going to help me or just slightly injure me (if not kill me).

I do know that, to quote Vice President Biden, it is a "big f'ing deal!" How big? So big that it took President Obama 22 pens to sign.

22 Pens?

President Obama signs health care reform legislation during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House on Tuesday. At his left are two boxes of extra pens. (Reuters/Jason Reed)

In a longtime tradition, the president put his signature to the bill using almost two dozen commemorative pens, which were handed out to key congressional leaders and others who helped pass the legislation. It took the lefty more than 90 seconds to pick up each of the 22 pens and make a small portion of each letter in his name.

Sound like a joke? It's not. But, speaking of "Health Care" and "jokes," I present some here for the fun of it (most obviously written before Sunday):

"If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'" --Bill Maher

"President Obama is turning up the pressure on Congress to pass this health care reform. In fact, he's telling Democrats, if they don't vote for this bill, he will go out and campaign for them in November." -Jay Leno

"The health care overhaul will extend coverage to 30 million people who are uninsured, or, as Walmart calls them, employees." –Jimmy Fallon

"There's a lot of controversy over this section of this new health care bill that says if you don't buy health insurance, you can go to jail for five years. They say it'll prevent freeloaders of the system. Yeah, but — well, if they do go to jail, won't they get free health care for five years?" –Jay Leno

"And the Postal Service announced last week the Post Office lost $3.8 billion last year. I've got a good idea. Let's put the government in charge of healthcare! Fantastic idea!" –Jay Leno

"The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could be funded by the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'" –Jay Leno

"Congressman John Boehner told a crowd of protesters yesterday that the new health care bill was the 'greatest threat to freedom he's ever seen.' And then the Taliban was like, 'Uh, helloooo? What?!'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Hey, the health care bill (is) 1,990 pages long and costs $894 billion dollars. Or $2.2 million per word. That makes them the most expensive words to come out of Washington since 'Mission Accomplished.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Barack Obama has been working hard to push his healthcare proposal. Obama still wants the bill to be bipartisan, but he's a realist, and given the near unanimous Republican opposition he's facing, now says he'd be satisfied if the bill was just bicurious." --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama has been explaining his healthcare plan now to senior citizens. And yesterday, at a town hall meeting, he promised the crowd that he will not, quote, 'pull the plug on Grandma.' Then, there was an awkward moment when Grandpa stood up and booed." --Conan O'Brien

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

Have a healthy day!

Sir Bowie (with a little help from Bill Maher) "who thinks it's ironic that Sarah Palin is so against the ObamaCare's killing of old people considering that she's the one who smothered the life out of the McCain campaign" of Greenbriar

It's not everyday that, while driving to work in your truck, you run over and kill a goat.

Fortunately, this was not one of those days... again!

But, it is Springtime.

And Springtime traditionally means Bock beers: a bottom fermenting lager that generally takes extra months of lagering (cold storage) to smooth out such a strong brew. Bock beer in general is stronger than your typical lager, more of a robust malt character with a dark amber to brown hue. Hop bitterness can be assertive enough to balance though must not get in the way of the malt flavor, most are only lightly hopped.

I'm not exactly sure the true origins of Bock beer. I have read that in medieval days German monasteries would brew a strong beer for sustenance during their Lenten fasts. Some believe the name Bock came from the shortening of Einbeck thus "beck" to "bock."

I do know that this beer has become a symbol of better times to come and moving away from winter (though it was also brewed for other special occasions and religious festivals such as Christmas).

According to an article written by Jay R. Brookal: March used to signal the end of the brewing season in the days before refrigeration, when the weather became too warm to brew. In Germany, they brewed beer for Oktoberfest, known as Marzen — German for March — in the waning weeks of the season. It was then laid down to age until it was ready, just in time to celebrate Oktoberfest. Today, of course, marzens are made year-round.

Similarly, in France and Belgium, they brew a beer known as Biere de Mars, or March beer. It's similar to the Biere de Garde style — light and malty with a hint of spices — but is meant to be enjoyed immediately and not aged for any length of time.

Others believe it is more of a pagan or old world influence that the beer was only to be brewed during the sign of the Capricorn goat, hence the goat being associated with Bock beers (There is another explanation below).

Which leads me to Bock beer labels and advertising posters (for no other reason than I love the visuals):


This poster is one of a series of reprints of original advertising used in the early 1900's by the Spaten Brewery. The discovery of these vintage advertising posters was found buried deep in their warehouse in Germany.



German's rank their bockbiers as the most malty and heaviest lagers in the world and warn they are to be sipped not guzzled. Generally little hop aroma in the nose or on the finish and little bitterness, with colour that can range from blond to black. Many Bock beers feature imagery of goats on the label. Bock means billy goat in German.


1882 Early American Bock Beer bar poster.


Yes, it's Springtime. Go Bock and have another beer!


Sir Bowie of Goatbriar, I mean Greenbriar