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Thursday, February 7, 2008

Highway to Hell...OR...Unity through Diversity


I'm sure you all are as sick of watching these six candidates slinging shit as I am, but with the writer's strike, post football and history channel reruns, what's a good Knight got left to do? My first impression, as one who was born ignorant, was to start traveling down the Road to Hell with these six carrying me in their hand basket. Then I remembered Confucius saying, "Ignorance is like a dark night, but without stars and a moon." This enlightened me and brought be back from my cave man mentality of just wanting to beat the shit out of everyone, to maybe I should put on my armor of a Knight of Moleskine, Spirit and Ale and discern the diversity here.

Considering that Edwards is out, I'll look at the remaining five. Beginning with Diversity at its finest, we have a woman and a black man who can seriously be nominated by their party for the first time in our history. On the Republican side there doesn't on the surface appear to be as much diversity, but being raised by southern conservative parents I was able to put my childhood lenses on and discovered that:
1. Romney isn't one of us by being Mormon and Very Rich, though he tends to flop more than the pancakes at IHOP.
2. McCain is the brave war hero that everyone respects but something happened to his mind in that Prison in Vietnam and he came out speaking his mind, something that scares the hell out of thick-skulled conservatives like Rush Limbaugh (Thus his basing of McCain not being conservative enough because he wants to reach out to people who don't believe like they do! Really, Rush is just worried about his job after January.) Besides, McCain has the thirty year younger trophy wife, no offense to her.
3. Huckabee being cut from the same cloth as me, a Southern Baptist minister (yes, I confess Father, I was one once.) who is not afraid to cross the bridges that the majority of Southern Baptist wouldn't dare, like playing bass in a rock band, and cracking jokes with Stephen Colbert.

So, there really is a lot of unity through diversity going on here under the surface and spin doctors. My suggestion, stay informed and drink plenty of strong ale to help your brain process the bull-shit from the good-shit!
Good Voting!
Sir Hook of Warrick

2 comments:

  1. Sir Hook's "Shit Rant" got me curious as shit about the word shit. A quick "google" landed me on this big o' pile of, well...

    1. ape-shit
    2. ape shit
    3. art is shit
    4. as rare as rocking horse shit
    5. bat shit
    6. beat seven shades of shit out of someone
    7. beats the shit outa me
    8. bitches ain't shit
    9. bitches aint shit
    10. buffalo shit
    11. bull shit
    12. chew the shit
    13. chicken shit
    14. conniving little shit
    15. crock of shit
    16. deep shit
    17. diddly-shit
    18. diddly shit
    19. do bears shit in the woods
    20. doesn't know shit from shinola
    21. doesnt know shit from shinola
    22. dog-shit-girl
    23. dog shit
    24. dog shit girl
    25. eat shit
    26. eat shit and die
    27. eat shit retard
    28. eating shit
    29. feels like breakin' shit
    30. feels like breakin shit
    31. full of shit
    32. get one's shit together
    33. get ones shit together
    34. get shit together
    35. get your shit together
    36. give a shit
    37. grown man shit
    38. happy as pig in shit
    39. hard-shit
    40. hard shit
    41. holy shit
    42. holy shit- man walks on fucking moon
    43. holy shit kill
    44. holy shit wrestling
    45. hot bubblin' shit
    46. hot bubblin shit
    47. hot shit
    48. human shit
    49. in deep shit
    50. jack shit
    51. joe shit the rag man
    52. like flies on shit
    53. like shit off a shovel
    54. mystical shit
    55. no shit
    56. no shit sherlock
    57. on shit
    58. pelican shit
    59. piece of shit
    60. pit for shit
    61. rare as rocking horse shit
    62. rocking horse shit
    63. scare the shit out of
    64. seven shades of shit
    65. shark shit
    66. shit
    67. shit-a-brick
    68. shit-all
    69. shit-can
    70. shit-canned
    71. shit-canning
    72. shit-cans
    73. shit-easy
    74. shit-eating
    75. shit-eating grin
    76. shit-face
    77. shit-faced
    78. shit-for-brains
    79. shit-head
    80. shit-hot
    81. shit-scared
    82. shit-stabber
    83. shit-stirrer
    84. shit-weasel
    85. shit-weasels
    86. shit-your-pants
    87. shit a brick
    88. shit all
    89. shit bird
    90. shit boy
    91. shit bricks
    92. shit can
    93. shit canned
    94. shit canning
    95. shit cans
    96. shit easy
    97. shit eating
    98. shit eating grin
    99. shit face
    100. shit faced

    Sir Bowie of Greenbriar

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  2. I enjoy the quirkiness of this site and visit often. Maybe I should try and join (Sir Richard of Montreal?) but I'm more of a wine man, myself so I'm not sure I qualify.

    Sir Hook, you seem like a really interesting guy. Raised fundamentalist, Baptist pastor and now practicing Roman Catholic, appreciator of spirituality in general and merry bon vivant . I'm intrigued by that sort of spiritual journey and would love to know how it all happened. Do tell us.

    Blessings,

    R.

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