The studies are in, and it appears that you can stay younger and enjoy a longer life by embracing the lifestyle of a bar fly. Thanks to Sir Richard of Windsor who shared two studies with me via email.
Study #1: A Low Dose of Dietary Resveratrol Partially Mimics Caloric
Restriction and Retards Aging Parameters in Mice
That's right, resveratrol, a substance found in abundance in red wine may actually be the fountain of youth. My cardiologist gave me the green light to indulge in a glass of red wine each evening after my heart surgery a few years ago, knowing that it benefits the heart. I don't think he new that it retards aging in mice. I realize that this isn't "Of Mice and Men"; however, logic would say that the more red wine you drink the drunker...I mean younger you get! Of course logic requires thinking and that seems to be bad for your longevity according to study #2.
Study#2: Stupid Flies Live Longer
That's right, a study conducted by a Swiss University selected two groups of flies. One was left in their ignorant fly state, the other had its intelligence boosted by Pavlovian methods. The results according to researcher Joeb Burger, "We have discovered a negative correlation between an improvement in a fly's mental capacity and its longevity". In layman terms, stupid flies live longer. So, ignorance is bliss, at least with flies. The dumber you are the longer you live. Up to 40% longer!
Our Conclusion: Be stupid and drink red wine, or should that be drink red wine and get stupid. Either way, the results are clear. For a longer and healthier life ignorance is bliss, and bliss can be found at the bottom of glass of red wine. So, fly away to the nearest bar and get stupid.
Sir Hook the Bar Fly of Warrick