Okay, I'll admit it. You can't count this as a real post because there is nothing original about it -- other than it's about George Carlin again -- a true original.
I was reading more of his work last night and thought I would throw out a few more quotes. You can write a book with all his work... He wrote several! I remember reading one of them the week before 9/11 where he rants ("rants," wait, that's another comic) anyway, where he discusses airline security or lack thereof. Very prophetic.
Carlin could do it all, from profound to profane. Here are just a few more Carlin-isms:
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
Religion is just mind control.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
The status quo sucks.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house (Yes, stolen from GC, too).
Sir Bowie of Greenbriar