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Saturday, June 27, 2009

An Old Farmer's Advice

I was out late last night driving the backroads of Southern Indiana in my 1955 Willys M38A1 (Military Jeep) -- top down. I often take the backroads because the beast's top speed is around the 45 mph mark. On this night drove under of curtain of bright stars (one shooting star made me say "WOW" out loud) and shoulder to shoulder with a lot of farmers working late night in their fields doing whatever it is farmers do late night June with heavy equipment (Yes, I'm a city boy).

I opened my email when I got home to find one of those "forward to everyone in my email address book" emails from Sir Norman of William Nottingham Court. Coincidentally, it was some Old Farmer's Advice that seems like good nuggets of truth for all good Knights (country to city Knights).

With the memory of the shooting star still burned on my retinas and the smell of farm dust in my nostrils, I present Norm's "An Old Farmer's Advice": * Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty..

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't Never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, life. Then when you get Older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't Bothering you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in..

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Sir Bowie "trying to remember
to Always drink upstream from the herd"
of Greenbriar


  1. Good wisdom! My grandfather Wells was a farmer. I remember riding on his tractor and smelling the dirt and feeling the connection to earth and all its wonders. There's a simple wisdom to this lifestyle that we all too often complicate with meaningless chatter!

    As for what the farmer was doing last has changed since my grandfather's they're either listening to an iPod or watching satellite TV in their air conditioned cab while enjoying their beer of choice in a mini fridge under the seat!

    I did that job in the summers between college.

    Still, you can remove the dirt off a farmer, but you can't remove the farmer from the dirt!

    Sir Hook A Grandson of A Farmer of Warrick

  2. Sir B was wandering Indiana on his way home from playing Captain Dave on our pontoon - taking part of the Eclectic Eight on a 3 hour tour -
    complete with handing out drinks and taking us back to the cabin for the indoor plumbing - what a guy!!

    Even smiling when the "girls" called him a "cabana boy" and wanted to put dollar bills in his Speedos lol

    Now he's off shooting black powder and I'm here to come back to city life after the slowness of the sure is nice (whispering so the kids don't hear) to enjoy our lives apart and then back together...just the two of us

    I'm going to re-read the farmer's wisdom - I too come from a long line of farming families!

    Lady Suzanne

  3. yeah love these.. I can imagine them said in that Old timer mid west accent.

    ..and the interesting thing i bet is....that if you got all the parochial sayings from indigineous communities from all over the world.. communites that probably wouldnt have acess to other sayings from around the world, you'd see that the sum of human experience would have them saying exactly the same thing, but in their own colloquial way..


    Sir dayvd ( we're all one under the sun ) of Oxenfordshire