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Saturday, April 12, 2008

A Page of History (from a Knight's Tale)

I was going through some ancient history the other day -- ancient history being a file of old poems wrote in the 80s. I was always a little on the melancholic side back then.

Here is one example (and the doodle I made in my journal when I wrote it at the Duck Inn):

I sit swilling beer in a loud, dimly lit bar

That's me at the corner table

I down my fifth fish bowl and stop to take a breath

The liquid lunch flows to my gut and over my belt

My stomach swells and pins me

between the table and the wall

Nobody notices me

And I die without paying my bill

A turtle on my back

-- David A. Kuhn (sometime in the early 80s)

Unfortunately, I've got a drawer full of crap like this.
(Oh, if you're a publisher and you like crap like this, then give me a call and a book deal).

The great comic Henny Youngman ('Take my wife, please” fame) once said, “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”

Though I have certainly giving up reading my old work, I enjoy reading others. Here is a couple of observations from one of my favorite authors, Dave Berry:

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go as well with pizza.'

And, one final thought:

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”
(That has nothing to do with beer, but I still think it's good advice!)

Sir Bowie of Greenbriar

1 comment:

  1. Sir Bowie, you probably wrote that sad dirge at the Duck Inn on a Friday night with me as we were trying to get lucky! As W.C. Field's would say, "Who is the scoundrel that stole the cork from my lunch?" Oh, by the way, I have made the profound discovery that laxatives, sleeping pills and beer creates quite an interesting mixture that any Alchemist would be proud of!
    Sir Hook