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Saturday, February 20, 2010

iSat, iShat, iDropped

In the category of a "Glorious Death", my iPhone met an unfortunate demise at my own hand, and other assorted by-products of my body.

After completing my meetings yesterday in Columbus, Ohio, I decided to go for a late lunch-early dinner at the Old Bag of Nails Pub. After ordering my Spinach Salad with Blackened Scallops and a pint of Great Lakes Irish Ale...I slipped my iPhone into my back pocket and headed for the toilet to make room for my feast.

Sparing you the size and dimension of the generated waste, which I will say was considerable, I was ready to begin the cleansing process when I heard another "Blunk"! I quickly realized that the sound was not generated by my body......iSat...iShat...iDropped...iPhone!!!!!!!!

It was amazing how quickly the desire to save my beloved overcame my disgust to see it floating on top of my last meal!

After several &**%5$t$! and wiping it down, there was no saving my iPhone. It joined my iPod and Gwyneth the First in the happy unknown in Columbus, Ohio.

Fortunately there is an Apple store near by, and being a ProCare member, plus armed with one hilarious story, I was quickly given a replacement for free.

What? I can't hear you! I seem to have a Turd in my ear! And no, they don't have an App for that!

Sir Hook the Toilet Fisherman of Warrick


  1. Lord Shatacat lives!

    glad I haven't made coffee yet, I'm laughing so hard it would be...

    off to make coffee now : )

  2. Yes appears that Lord Shatacat and Lucy have followed me across the pond!

    I just hope he's not as ugly as that last picture!

    Sir Hook a Vassal of Lord Shatacat of Warrick

  3. People have wondered how one could drop a cell in the toilet. Having done it myself, it's easy. Just have it in a pocket when one is bending over to lift the lid, or knock it off the sink or .... when mine went into (the not yet used home) toilet, I quickly snatched it out. Taking the battery out first, toweling it off and letting it air dry (no hairdryers are to be used) sometimes will bring it back to life. There is also a trick with a bag of rice. Getting a phone wet has occurred enough for Internet articles to abound about this particular problem.

    I suggest telling people the story and leaving out the part where you got it replaced. No one will want to borrow your phone after that. Unless they have shit for brains.

  4. lol...come on Hooky... tell us the truth... you know you were in the toilets doing your treatable addiction of photographing yourself with the urinals... when you went back too far, to get them all in, and fell in the cubicle and spilled it into the water...

    another six weeks in portapotty rehab i'm afraid.

    Sir D

  5. Thanks for the image that will forever be embedded in my mind. Lady of Pong likes bathroom humor... it turns me on.

  6. No, there's no App for that... yet!

    Let's put our thinking hats on boys and girls. Problem: Phones dropping in toilets (I've dropped several in the lake at Lynnville).

    App solution: ?

    Well, maybe there isn't one. But, what if we had a toilet simulator.
    Whenever someone is particularly proud of his/her "generated waste", they take a photo. Everyone else who has subscribed to the service immediately receives the photo to add to their library. Then, the App "flushes" down the waste -- depending on the volume, the app might determine that it takes two or three flushes.
    Maybe you can even score the photo (multiples of two, of course).

    There is money to be made here.
    Let's not flush this opportunity down the...

    Sir Bowie of Greenbriar

  7. May be you can Log on ?

    Sir d ( who thinks we shouldn't rush Hooky as he hasn't been iPotty
    trained ) of O

  8. I like the Log On. Almost completed iPotty training! It should be a game, like Tetrus. Turdrus! The shit just keeps piling on!

    A KMSA iPhone App would be nice.

    Sir Hook Who Believes You Should Shit or Get Off the Pot of Warrick